Fatherhood

Proof that I love my children: 

Just danced to "I Kissed a Girl" on JustDance 4 with Rachael. 

(*** No pics or video. Ever.)

No title needed

Discoveries from Christmas morning: 

1) Kittens love tree ornaments. 
2) Walls are like magnets to football helmets.
3) The new Furbys "poop". 
4) American Girl has a stronger marketing team than even Apple. 
5) I still laugh like a 5-year old at the "Chinese Restaurant" scene from "A Christmas Story".

Ho ho ho?

Wife: "What are you putting on the gift tags on Madeline's presents? Are you putting 'from Santa' like I asked?"

Me: "Well, yeah... I put 'from the jolly, bearded fat guy' on them."

Wife: "Well, then she'll think they're from YOU."

Texts

Just got a random text: 

"Just peed in a cup. Now sitting naked on a table with a paper sheet. I'll bet I get kicked out of this Applebee's."

I know my place... now.

(** Disclaimer: I've had a nasty throat/chest bug for about 4-5 days.)

Me: "Wow. Can't wait 'til I get my voice back."

Wife: "I can."

Madeline: "Same here."

Big Brother

Madeline: "Dad, I was watching the news at school. What is the NSA?"

Me: "Well... you know how you and your siblings have that Elf-on-the-Shelf?"

Madeline: "Yep. He watches us for Santa."

Me: "Correct. He's kinda like Santa's own version of the NSA."

Madeline: "I get it now."

Comfy couches

(At the dinner table, about 3 minutes ago.)

Michelle: "Rachael, what was the best and worst part of your day today?" 
Rachael: "My best part of the day was getting off the bus after school, and the worst part was eating this slop."
Michelle: "That wasn't very nice."
Rachael (*whispering*): "Did I say that right, Daddy?"

(**Anyone have a spare couch I can crash on tonight?)