Breakfast

(**After a nice little spat with her brother)

Rachael: "I'm so mad at all of you! I'm going up to my room, and I'm NEVER coming back down!"

Me: "Want us to call you when breakfast is ready?"

Rachael: "Pancakes?"

Wife: "Yep."

Rachael: "Yes, please."

Mental pic

Madeline: "Dad, we're studying former Presidents... who's that funny-looking man next to former President Bush?"

Me: "That's Janet Reno, sweetheart."

Games people play

Me: "Rachael, I'm going to play a very fun game, and it involves your new Furby."

Rachael: "Really? What is it, Daddy?"

Me: "It's called 'Will it float?' and I promise it's a ton of fun."

Admit it, you've tried it.

Well, guess I answered the question of "does your pee freeze in this subzero cold" with a resounding "YES". 

(**My apologies to everyone on Hwy 322 at that very moment.)

Can't live with 'em... can't understand 'em.

Me: "Wow... one weather service says 15 inches in Boston, another says 24 inches."

Wife: "The one that said 24 is probably a man."

I know my place... again.

(**Madeline has a sleepover tonight here with buddies.)

Ryleigh: My mom always tells my brother and me "if you don't know what something means, don't say it at all". 

Wife: If that was the case, Erik would just sit in the corner and never say a word.

Fashionista?

(** Disclaimer - I am SERIOUSLY out-of-touch with modern fashion. I will admit it and move on. But, from time-to-time, I try.)

Clerk at Big-'n-Tall store: "So, you want a 'modern casual' look for this?"

Me: "Um, sure."

Clerk: "OK, let's start. What type of blazer would you like?"

Me: "Hmmm... Chevy?"

Fatherhood

Proof that I love my children: 

Just danced to "I Kissed a Girl" on JustDance 4 with Rachael. 

(*** No pics or video. Ever.)

No title needed

Discoveries from Christmas morning: 

1) Kittens love tree ornaments. 
2) Walls are like magnets to football helmets.
3) The new Furbys "poop". 
4) American Girl has a stronger marketing team than even Apple. 
5) I still laugh like a 5-year old at the "Chinese Restaurant" scene from "A Christmas Story".

Ho ho ho?

Wife: "What are you putting on the gift tags on Madeline's presents? Are you putting 'from Santa' like I asked?"

Me: "Well, yeah... I put 'from the jolly, bearded fat guy' on them."

Wife: "Well, then she'll think they're from YOU."

Texts

Just got a random text: 

"Just peed in a cup. Now sitting naked on a table with a paper sheet. I'll bet I get kicked out of this Applebee's."

I know my place... now.

(** Disclaimer: I've had a nasty throat/chest bug for about 4-5 days.)

Me: "Wow. Can't wait 'til I get my voice back."

Wife: "I can."

Madeline: "Same here."